Casey's Playlist

Written by Casey Ishitani

It would be a safe bet that most college students face the dilemma of that cruelest result of all-night alcohol consumption. The subject of our dismay is the dreaded hangover, which has afflicted the educated minority of American students since collegiate institutions stopped forcing students to believe in God. Hangovers are amongst the peskiest side effects of alcohol consumption, right alongside STD’s, pregnancy, and turning into your least favorite uncle. There is no known cure for a hangover. One could try sports drinks or citrus juices to compensate for the electrolytes lost from a marathon of bile expulsion, but the lingering pain of one’s throbbing brain cells – the majority of which were probably killed when your blood started to smell like Jager – remains. The best one can hope for is a smooth transition from the Kafka-esque trial prosecuting you from last night’s debauchery to a state of comfortable bliss. Either that, or you have someone put your lights out. Here is a playlist one can listen to make that transition easier. If you don’t have these songs … then, you deserve a hangover. Fuck you.

Spoon, “Everything Hits At Once”

The hangover has started. You need something just soft enough to be mellow but assertive enough to be considered quality music. Enter Spoon, with just the right level of emoting, a great keyboard piece in the middle, and the perfect drum beat to keep your pounding head from exploding and spilling all the brain matter that stews about in ethyl-laced botulism.

The Zombies, “Gotta Get a Hold of Myself”

Your motor functions shot and your communication skills bordering on either Paula Abdul (irreparable slut) or Magoo’s patron (ingratiating cock), you decide that the best thing to do is to at least make an effort to fully wake up and look for your car. You’ll lose your mind if you keep on acting this way. You can’t lie down and die.

Cat Power, “Hate”

Okay, you’ve gotten a hold of yourself. Now, you realize what a complete wastoid you’ve been for the last few hours. It makes you kind of self-loathing and suicidal.

Chan Marshall knows your pain. Even totally cute songstresses have moments of weakness, and she can relate to your guilty conscience. Then again, she wrote “He War” and you didn’t, so don’t go feeling real on us just yet. Asshole.

The Flaming Lips, “The Flight Test”

To fight or not to fight? It’s all a mystery. It gets even more mysterious when one has a headache that apparently starts rubbing off on anyone within arms-length. What looks like unnecessary and potentially fatal combat to the average, sober person seems like a perfect opportunity to display one’s worldly value to someone whose vision hasn’t even stabilized. The Flaming Lips will hopefully coax you out of that bad decision.

Belle & Sebastian, “Get Me Away From Here I’m Dying”

Whether you decide to raise your fists or not, you will start to feel terrible. This song won’t exactly help you, but it’s just upbeat enough to be distracting from the world of agony you are facing.

Neko Case, “The Needle Has Landed”

As with many Neko Case songs, this one has an ambiguous theme, but you don’t really need to think too deeply as her voice is as Lucinda Williams as ever and the music would do any country-folk Joe or Jane proud. Drunk or sober, how can anyone resist that outro?

Silver Jews, “I’m Getting Back Into Getting Into You”

We’ve all done it. You’ve had a few too many, you pull your cell-phone out, and you dial the person you’ve been trying to get with but were too scared to talk to sober. Unfortunately, when you drunk-dial, the come-on isn’t very … articulate.

Listen to Dave Berman. That groggy cadence just screams “hungover,” but the achingly honest way he admits affection toward his would-be lover should be your model for post-drunk-dial apology.

Yo La Tengo, “Mr. Tough”

While pretty much any song from the best Hoboken Jew mixtape/album-making trio in the world would suffice, “Mr. Tough” sounds totally Marvin Gaye. While I should add a Gaye song on this list, his dad blew him away for substance abuse, and anyone with a playlist handy for an expectant hangover doesn’t want to be thinking of their crazy parents discovering their habits.

Plus, a groovy piano-driven tune right after two Country tracks will feel like a nice cup of coffee.

The Velvet Underground, “Cool It Down”

There comes a point in every hangover that listening to The Velvet Underground starts becoming a necessity. Whether it be the fuzzed-out production or Lou Reed’s nasal cry of self-pity, the inner drunkard in everyone can appreciate the general feeling one gets from The Velvet Underground. Look no further than this singles track for the right balance of hard feelings and soft deliveries.

The Walkmen, “My Old Man”

While we’re riding high on the wave of excess, The Walkmen are a pretty loud, yet pretty relatable band on a bad day. Who knew that so much thrashing, pounding, and screaming could provide so much catharsis for someone with a splitting headache?

Kings of Convenience, “Failure”

Now that catharsis has hit, one needs to reflect on their drinking and post-drinking experience. And what better way to celebrate the avoidance of spiritual (and organ) failure than with this totally smooth, totally inspiring track? Ah, Europeans.

Sparklehorse, “See the Light”

Definitely not the best track on their latest album, but you’re probably really tired and you need a lullaby. Man, that riff is pure hypnotic magic. Have a nice sleep and make sure you don’t shit the bed.